Back in Prision

I'm back in the hospital again because of mild fevers.  Anytime I spike a fever over 101.4, I have to come into the hospital for blood cultures. The doctors aren't really sure what's causing the fevers, but they are going to start eliminating potential causes by taking out the port in my chest that's been there since February 3rd.  The rationale is that its a possible source of infection and would have to be taken out anyway when I get to Dana Farber because they like to use their own.  In fact they install 2, one on either side.  I can only imagine the amount of scars I'll be left with when all of this is finished

Needless to say I really don't want to be here, and I can't wait to get out.  I was doing really well at home and having a great time living a somewhat normal existence with my family.  On Thursday I went for a 3 mile walk and felt strong.  I would love to start running again but the drug I'm on now causes the skin on my hands and feet to break down and get chaffed very easily.  Already all of my fingertips are raw, and the joints in the my thumbs.  The ball of my left foot is also getting pretty tender.  

Anyhow now I'm in the hospital and feeling the progress I've made in the past few weeks slip away.   The hospital bed is an insidious, entropic wasteland.  If you're not careful you will get stuck in it.  People try to do everything for you while you lie there, so there's never a need to get out of the bed.  When no one else is around things on the other side of the room look like they are impossibly far away.  Surely too far to get out of bed for.   Sometimes I lay there for half an hour trying to muster the will to get up and close the shades so I can sleep a little longer in the morning.  Its definitely time to get out of here.